Confidence.

Since this month I am  speaking about esteem…  and where it comes from  and how it’s developed, I wanted to share  my story on  how I personally developed  my confidence and esteem .

It’s  a story of several  weaved into one,  but  they  all have   deep meaning.   My  story  doesn’t  begin here.. but I wanted to share  this  belief with you , because this young student  from South Africa  spoke to my heart and through my heart into something i have always believed.  She was the essence of my dream, articulated.     And  this was  when  I rose to the occasion and began  ‘activating’ my journey. 

It was  in    May of 2003  and  this room of young people had been gathered together to be encouraged.   I was not  surprised,  but then I was.  They were here to  hear a woman from  America  speak about following their dreams.   Why? because  young people in South Africa, particularly in Kuma,  South  Africa – in this  case,  had  been discouraged.  Suicide was  rampant,  across the land –  and  they needed a voice of encouragement.     And God sent me. 

I had  known I was up for the challenge, indeed

It had taken  six months to get here.  And I knew I was coming, but I had to be prepared.   So six months prior God began to establish His  message in me.  It  was a lot of  quiet time spent with Him to  hear what He wanted me to say.  I decided   during this  time , that if God was going to send me to South  Africa,  I  must have  had something mighty  important to say.

Standing before that room and listening to this  young lady, I had heard this before.  I had  heard this  in my Bible,  in my  teacher’s  rooms,  and I  heard the same voice of  encouragement in mother’s voice,  my mentors and auntie’s voices  that were  encouraging me on.   You see, what she  saw,  I saw  because  those gone before me  had manifested that belief in me.   I  knew the strength  she  knew was in her people;  she had believed was there all along.

And  so, my confidence  has come through the walking of other’s  shoes.  The  stride of their pride,  and the   risks they have taken to make  the  messages they  believed in made clear.   Without those  risks – they would not be where they were.  I told them  the risk I took in leaving everything in America behind.   I   did not believe I could make it to  S. Africa, and yet here I was , standing in a room before them,  encouraging their hearts  – Because  God chose me. 

I  told them how I was  chosen , the opposition I came up  against, and  how I still made it to speak to them.  It took  loads of faith.  Not just mine… but  others.   Then I turned the page, and told them I  came on  the backs of my ancestors.  And I knew I had to get to Africa  because  it was home. Home of my identity. And I told them how privileged they were to be in touch with the honor of being home. And living “at home”. they  were the dream  I had set out to be.  The dream of knowing and believing I had to return to my  ancestors   place of residence,  and “be that Queen.” 

The  queen  that  spoke largely to my destiny and my  significance, and the  queen  that  I studied about  – and who had lived  here in Africa, long before them. 

Yes,  they were   surprised they were my inspiration.

But my  inspiration had a long and lengthy legacy  of hope and faith.

 Selah. 

I have committed this year in 2018 to writing about 💎 Diamonds my online course and writing about the gems therein. To make it even more exciting, I’m challenging myself to write a book on how I got to the “Other Side” of pursuing me.”stay tuned as I share more on this journey, & eventually provide links to the course.

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