The Older I Get, The Younger I Become.

The older I get…. The younger I feel. I truly am thankful for care of a thriving spirit! 

How do you know when you’re thriving!?

I mean, is there some magical element that helps you notice that you are or it is learned and valued with time and experience??

I say the latter. Time and experience has taught me how to thrive and place myself first. People who are very wise and mature in this space in life, have as well. I’ve also learned how to value life lessons and how they teach me perspective faith and facing and remaining in truths in my life. I tend to approach life as a series of  lessons that bloom with perspective and self – reflection over time.

Well .. I want to share with you : I found a wonderful series on thriving with Karen at Chookoloonks.com and I’d like you to take look and see if you notice yourself therein.

For me, thriving is when you notice that you are moving forward even when you don’t plan to. You grow with a valid experience and a sense of maturity helps you to glean from the experience you’ve endured. It’s when  you have a vigorous way of having  forward moment  in your life and you’re not even realizing your gaining momentum; but looking back, you’ve realized you’ve seized the moment!

Choose to thrive today!

Here are a few things that help me thrive:

  1. Friends  with similar goals and vision.
  2. A partner in my corner that encourages me.
  3. Daily meditation on my personal growth, goals or spiritual power.
  4. My family and their insights and communication with them. Family add purpose to our lives when we can relish those relationships. 
  5. Readings or listening to podcasts to endurance my passions.
  6. Writing my vision down and visiting it weekly to determine where I want to go with it.
  7. Sharing my hope and my reason for living strong.
  8. Helping and giving back to others.
  9. Loving on myself.
  10. Listening to myself.
  11. My relationship with God.

Want to learn more about thriving?  Join my page at the following link, here .

    Being Enough & Being Wise.

    I was inspired by this series after I participated in a  Celebrate Recovery group and  talking about feeling “helpless”. It was a process for me to discuss in group, because as soon as I  spoke about why I tend to feel worried and procrastinate on some things, I realized that  This vulnerable space I often feel between  not worrying and trusting God  causes me to feel way too vulnerable.
     I Am  Enough Because I Am Wise.

    So what does it really mean to be wise?

    Does being wise mean… to be humble?

    Does it mean we should consult with someone else who has  good advice, can problem-solve, help us manage our lives better or may give good counsel?

    Or does it mean simply having good sense In knowing how to respond?

    Perhaps.

    …Or maybe it means being still enough to take care of our lives  because we care enough about our lives to be safe, discerning and aware.
    Perhaps where I am wisest is when I spend time in the presence of friends. I have wise friends. There is a scripture in the bible that says :

    “There is safety in a multitude of counselors.”

    Proverbs 11:14

    I love that scripture. It has resounded over the years with me. I have realized over time that perhaps the best  acumen, has come from  having “experience” as my  teacher. With all my experiences, I have  gained such rewarding  insight from friends who have “showed up”  in my own personal struggles, when I needed such wisdom, – and  sowed complete love and admonition  for me,  and their wise actions and advice, benefited me greatly.  The intuition  and  inspiration was on an entirely different level and  completely humbling most of the times, because I allowed them to pour into me, and  I trusted them.   As a result, I have  compassion for  them and for others who have experienced similar situations.

     It led me to  write my book, Red Sea Situations.

    I have many women “mentors”  that have guided me over the years, and who have also  guided me in counsel, and one of them is my mother. I’ve placed her picture here  of my mom, because Mom has been over the years one person who has supported my dreams more than I have even believed in them.
    I remember when my ‘far-fetched’ dream of traveling to South Africa  came as an opportunity. Mom was so concerned about me traveling so far not really knowing the people very well, and being safe.  I was traveling with someone  knew, but had not known them for very long. She was excited for me. And so.. She reminded me if ‘God gave you that opportunity, Jennifer – I will have to trust in His divine plan for your life.” That was so humble of her. To trust God beyond seeing her ‘babygirl’ – at age of 38 years –  going so far. She had to place me in God’s hands. And you know that’s cool because God gave her that strength. she expected it to keep her in wisdom, and so wisdom  came.

    Mom over the years has supported me in several endeavors, but most of all she has led me to discern friendships that are also “safe emotionally and spiritually.”  I believe this is a lesson all mothers should teach their children.

    I believe one of the most humbling  situations I experienced, was  a friend who helped me when I had no where else to go. She had always told me, because she knew I was going through a hard time no matter when or what time it was, whenever I needed a place to go, I could just stop by. One night i thought I was close to losing it, and i knew if I didn’t get out of the house,  I would .  So indeed, I  went over and it was about ten fifteen pm. When I arrived at her  door, her husband answered, he smiled, and  didn’t say a word. All  he said was: “She’s  is upstairs, go ahead on up.”

    Sidenote: (Can I say I just “admire” a  man who allows his  wife’s friend to come over so late in the evening , so she can support her? )

    Clearly, I had been crying, and I slipped past him. When I go to the top of the stairs,  I heard her talking to her boys  in a very sacred moment, and she said , “Come on in, Jenn.” She was there with the two of them, they were about three and six years old, and  she was hugging on them in bed. She made space for me, and  welcomed me in me bed with them. We didn’t talk much that night, we just laid there in quiet and peace. Her boys smiling and  she interacting and mothering them, and I quietly watched them enjoy and love on one another. I’ve  never felt so welcomed.

    …And to this day, our bond is unbreakable.

    Now, this has nothing to do with me, and my wisdom. However, my friend’s wisdom –  in this moment taught me how to be wise. It taught me how when I am at m lowest point to embrace someone in love and just acceptance, is the very best  action of love. To just be present for them, regardless.  That night, we never spoke much,  I didn’t pour my heart out and all my business.  But her presence, just meant the world to me.

    For me, wisdom and love, really are not far  apart. In fact, they are like semi- cousins. I  also found out that I don’t have to know all the details, I just need to love on them.  There’s a time and a season for everything, and sometimes knowledge isn’t necessary. She didn’t know, and still doesn’t know what I was experiencing that evening, but what matters is that I  knew she was there, and that she loved me. To me, that’s agape love. The God-kind of love.

    From this one action, I have found that I can love people without words, in such an amazing way, and that it involves just seeing that their soul is so worthy of love. This type of ‘friend -awareness’ has allowed me to be the same kind of friend. It’s also give me a greater burden to be a mentor to my sisters in Christ.   And any other women who need advice in any shade, color or form. I am not particular to them  knowng and loving God, first… I just need to know they are open to my might shining in that regard if I have to share an occasional miracle.

    On a lighter note,

    I am wise because I am clever.

    Cleverness is not  a word I use very much n my vocabulary, yet I find very attractive.

    My husband is rather clever. It was attractive to me from the first day I met him. And his cleverness tends to rub off on me at times. Cleverness involves, quick wit, charm, and  wise words, and at times a bit of playfulness. Perhaps the playfulness is the most fun. Being clever involves finding  a certain resourcefulness from within. It’s understanding how to use integrity to teach someone by not reacting. It also involves  not  stooping to a level of  personal embarrassment or  ignorance  because someone else does. Not allowing their impulsive demeanor, unkindness and lack of integrity move me with words. I think I learned how to be clever once I  decide din my mind I didn’t care what others thought about me. It was freeing.  I decided that once I had made up my mind, and it made sense and I had  filtered it through my wisest  friends, and they were in agreement, it was well. And no one’s opinions mattered. My clever quick wit would then pounce back on others when they had comments  or opinions about my  actions in which they did not agree. I admire folk who can take judgment and  crush it as soon as someone swings it at them, and  keeps on  walking without shame or resentment because they are confident they are in a good place.

    I am wise because I am contemplative.
    Contemplation is one of my favorite things to do. As an introvert, I tend to find myself when I contemplate. Whether it involves speaking to myself, my heart, and pondering the actions of my day I find rest in re-evaulation. If I don’t do re-evaluate, I become restless.
    What is in this restless space? Unawareness? A lack of purpose? Dis-alignment? Is that why when I am not looking within, I falter?
    I get nervous, my anxiety peaks, or I have a loss for words? I prefer contemplation in order to help me rest. I may not have even realized the extent to which I depend upon what I call : “finding center” Laraine Herring in the book: “Writing Begins With Breath: Embodying your Authentic Voice”, says after the basic needs of food air, water and shelter are met, most of our actions and behaviors stem from a need for love, compassion, understanding and emotional safety.” I find that interesting, because that means if this is true, most of what I seek, when I look within, is about finding self-love.

    (Read about  my  self love and being enough in another story, here.)

    I must say however; some of the most unwise persons have hurt me. have been unreasonable,  inattentive ungraceful and  ill-mannered people I know, because they lacked compassion.   Indeed, perhaps this scripture measures up when wisdom is most attractive: “Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other.” (Psalm 85:10)

    If you enjoyed reading this  excerpt, please take the time to  read the series: Completely Validated: A Compilation of  Meditations & Readings on ‘Being Enough.‘ , which will soon be an audio course and workbook series online .

    Interested in learning more about being enough and reading more about it?

    Contact me below for more info on the I Am Enough audio Kamau Care Meditative Series!

    For a small price of $15.00, you can have the ebook series audio format where you can download and listen as you go!

    endurance.

    endureSo my word for the year 2015, was ENDURE. What an experience. (Let me tell you, if you ever intentionally  intend to pick a word to focus on for the rest of the year,  don’t choose a hard one.)

    I am finding out that endure means to be triumphant. So awesome. Why ? Because there is a place inside of me that requires less effort, as I endure. That says you will be triumphant, because of “Who God is in you.”

    Loving the feel of this word once I get my shoes in it. I think I’m gonna wear them a while. They make me stand a little taller.

    I have SO much to be grateful for. And so much more to be triumphant for in 2015 – it’s time I believe  – to be one who endures in that triumphant space in my life,  continually . And to be prosperous in God’s strength.

    To endure.

    If I were to be honest with myself, there were times where I didn’t give my life it’s all. Not in my choices, but my mental endurance. My belief in myself. Places I haven’t endured. Because I didn’t think I had it in me.

    But I may have been trusting a bit too much in myself.

    Lesson Learned:   Make sure you  place God first in all things. Never try to do things just because it’s something someone else would enjoy Always go to God first and ask Him HIS plan, because it saves you  from heartache, and the tendency to try to please man first.

    So… it’s time to surrender more in this life, to His life. The God kind of Life. Him as Yahweh. Yahweh who makes all things right, because He is Lord over Everything.  Yahweh means “I AM”.

    God illumines my darkness. God is ever-present. God loves me and is always near. This is Yahweh.

    Moses had a revelation of himself, when he looked into the reflection of God’s mirror. His stature increased His size and His authority. When He faced His God His significance  changed. As does with us all.  We change: our nature, our authority, our countenance, our spiritual nature – once we have a face-to face encounter with the Lord.

    I love that God  goes deep inside of me where the recesses of  ‘Jennifer’ is broken… not all together, a little shattered and imperfect; and  I love the fact He makes me right. My crooked places straight. Amen.

    Ps 18:30 “As for my God, his way is undefiled: the words of the Lord are fire tried: He is the protector of all that trust in him. “ (DRB)

     

    “Making A Surrender Inventory”

    “Take your everyday ordinary life – your sleeping, eating, going to work and walking around life and place it as an offering before God.”

    chicago

    So, I was here today… Making a surrender inventory. I read about  in a book i was reading and here are all the categories, below.

    Completing my own surrender inventory was pretty tough. I had to be pretty truthful with myself. I am learning the more transparency we allow in our lives, helps us to grow and change and be OPEN to change. The less transparency we allow, the more we are stagnant.

    To “Surrender” means: one who’s will and affections are yielded to the power,control or possession of another’s influence – on demand. I really didn’t like the demand part, but then I thought about it, and reasoned that maybe, just maybe doing something because there is a demand for it, makes it all the more valuable to surrender to. (For instance, without supply – demand doesn’t exist, right?) One cannot give freely what is not REQUIRED. Selah.

    I was able to utilize this AWESOME assessment of my life purpose by reading the book: Conversations on Purpose”,  By Katie Brazelton

    So here were the categories and I will choose to write ‘something’ about each one here on my blog:

    * Social /Relational *Mental
    *Physical *Emotional
    * Family *Spiritual Growth & Faith
    *Church Involvement *Sins /Character Faults
    *Vocation/Avocation * Entrepreneurial
    * Mission field *Life Purpose/Calling
    *Multiple Areas of Life

    So here are mine:
    I. Social /Relational:( Surrendering to God’s ability to give me acceptable partners;Vulnerability, Lack of Authenticity, Passive Aggressiveness)
    Okay, I have spoken about vulnerability on several occasions and I can say this: the fact of surrender gets magnified ten times and looks all the more scary, when we are afraid of being vulnerable, yet the rewards are AWESOME. Your life is enriched, its more full and alive, and you experience much more sincerity and can offer it as well.

    II. Mental: (Abilities , Control/Manipulation, Failures, Hope, Dreams, Longings, &Perspective.) Surrendering to perspective takes a WILLINGNESS. I cannot surrender to anything outside of my own perspective unless I am at first willing.

    III. Physical : My Body, My Energy Level Safety, Pain, Image.
    MY energy level has been a MAJOR challenge for me, especially when I leave from work, and have an entire evening to continue with. If I am exhausted, sometimes I have to MAKE my second wind blow!

    IV. Family ( Miscarriage, Motherhood, Intimacy, Spouse, Empty Nest.) Surrendering to my spouse looks like: Yielding. I have found that yielding to anyone, helps them know you are not their enemy, so why waste the energy, anyway?

    V. Emotional: All feelings Regret, Self hate, Shame, Joy, Fear.
    Surrendering to fear really shows where your strength is. I have had to do this several times, but what was really on the other side was: COURAGE.

    VI. Spiritual Growth and Faith : Spiritual Journalism, Forgiveness, Spiritual Disciplines & Practice – Spiritual Disciplines are VERY HARD to do. Yet so rewarding and bring so much RESOLVE when we relent. i tend to spend a lot of discipline here  ad n my soul it just shines, as a result.

    VII. Church Involvement:( I know, right, yes we have to submit even unto that! ) I just chose 2 , but Fellowship and A Servant heart – can be challenges to surrender to… * Fellowship – because I am an introvert, being around people sometimes has to be forced. But i have so much fun, I wonder why I ever avoided it!

    VIII. Sins and character Faults: Bitterness, Rage and Laziness:( had to get that one in!)
    Bitterness – (used to have it, used to have it!) And boy did it eat me up! I was so bitter, I spewed out venom! Naw, I really was mean though, at one point in my life. But it stole my peace so much, I decided it took MUCH MORE ENERGY to hold onto it, than it did to LET IT GO.

    IX. Vocation/Avocation: (Boss, Office Politics)

    In this area, I have often chosen o work in  fields that reflect my values and my strengths n working with families and  have mostly been pleased.

    X. Entrepreneurial/Business Detail: Health Care, Contracts, Fees. Contracts – we often feel like we don’t charge enough, nor do we put it all in there. Surrendering to this process looks like allowing God to establish your worth, first.

    XI. Addictions, Compulsions and Obsessions: Food, Drugs, T.V. Sex, Nicotine. Food – oh so weak! But I manage by daily asking God to help me, and not surrendering to what My body wants.

    XII. Mission Field: Personal Comfort, Willingness to Serve. Personal comfort – it LOOKS like COMPLACENCY, and I heard tonight that wherever complacency dwells, we are idle in every way.

    XIII. Life Purpose & Calling : effort, Preconceived Notions. And preconceived notions can trap you up every time, because you ASSUME you know, but you cause yourself to enter into a bad place; by sabotaging the experience, and sacrificing those things in life that have meaning.

    JennRene | December 1, 2012 at 6:19 am |

     So … What Makes YOU Happy?

    So .. What Makes YOU Happy?

    Hmmm….Happiness.

    What makes you happy?

    Do you know? Do you take time to  figure out just what that may be?

    Well.. to be honest until  was able to go to South Africa for a few weeks and  consider that, and  I really didn’t know, either.

    Now this  question may take some self-exploration.

     You know how I found out how to be happy?

    1.Choose not to walk in happiness and  discontent.

    I began to walk  past my guilt and do the things that I told myself I didn’t deserve over, and over and over again.  I had to turn away negative thoughts with great abandonment.  Understanding that taking responsibility for my own happiness  really cured my loneliness and my self-hatred, made me realize that  I had the capacity to welcome happiness into my life, and I didn’t have to wait on anyone else to do that FOR ME.

     Today, I seek out my own happiness  in some form, every day. Quiet time tends to make me happy. And so I have bouts of quiet time every single day i I can. I try not to be a hermit with it. but it helps me to hear myself think.

      There are some things you have  to CHOOSE to be intentional about FINDING.

    2.Decide that happiness will be spontaneous and sometimes without thought, but also choose to plan for it in small increments. 

    So one of the things that makes me happy is eating ice cream,  yet   realized that comes with a HUGE consequence  unwanted weight and since milk doesn’t always agree wit the body, it’s just good to have options.  Then  decided that  would begin to invest in things that made me feel better.    One of the things I found that made me feel good was  smoothies and they also made my body feel really energetic! So I began to  decide to  eat as as many smoothies as I could,  a few times  a week.  That’s only the physical part o our lifestyle, though.  When I don’t have my tea sometimes before  bed,  I actually feel  my irritability rising again, and I become restless.   I realized this  not long ago when I realized I had gotten away from the habit.

    I noticed after a while my skin began to change,  my  health improved and I just  had more energy overall. I realized that for longevity sake, I really need to make sure I stay in tune with what Mother Nature finds  work with my body’s rhythm and  energy level.

    3.Choose to spend time with people who are fun to be around and make you happy.

    Happy peeps are just the bomb.com! I love being around folk that make me smile. And chuckle.. And even smile  for days after, with positive memories and leave  really  leave me with impressive thoughts.  Recently I out o a conference with two happy women  and we simply  dwelt in my presence and I in hers, and we  had a really good  time. And i can just call these folk up and they really want to be with me and that’s like so cool. To feel accepted.

    I think we all have an innate need to be accepted and that’s what i am going to talk about in an upcoming Kamau Care  meditative series session!

     

    1.  I got this one from a  blogger:” When something goes wrong try to figure out a solution instead of wallowing in self pity.”( Lifehacks.com) 

    Now this is something I used to do  with regularity. I used to pout and feel sorry for myself all the time.  Then I realized that was manipulation. And that no one trusts people who tend to be manipulative. I honestly had to pray this type of behavior out of my life. After a while I would catch myself then try to turn it around by being giving towards someone , and forgetting about myself for a while.   I found when I did that, God would just come in and remind me He hadn’t forgotten about me, not at all.jen's fav of heavens

     

    1. Decide everyday to commit some thinking  to the things that make you smile.

    Some of the smallest things give me joy today.  And they don’t all cost money… Here are a simple few:

     

    • Spending time with my husband.
    • Spending time reading or gaining knowledge.
    • I spend time  taking pics outside.
    • I choose to spend time thinking positive thoughts and encouraging myself.
    •   Decide daily to  talk to God, My Creator just “gets me”. He knows everything I need when  need it, and gives awesome direction and my life and days seem sweeter when I  take the time to form better relationship, with Him..