Silencing My Soul.

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never, ever underestimate the power of silence.

to still your soul.never, ever underestimate the power of silence.

to still your soul.

to make you whole.

to help you to hear what  cannot be undone.

to help you know what you knew all along.

to help you to be who you knew you were.
to help you see what can only be seen from the heart.
Selah.
by jennrene

Give Me Grace: Saying Goodbye.

I’m just noticing how I feel about saying goodbye… Good relationships are sometimes good even before you really know they are.

This week I had to end two relationships therapeutically with kids I see as a counselor.  I  had a special tug at my heart, with all three of them. It’s funny how  we bond.

One of them, I loved her sense of humor and the small ways she made me laugh.

Another, he was just learning how to be merciful and kind towards others and I’d gotten through. (Yay! He made strides!)

And yet another, he was laughing and having so much fun with me in therapy, it was hard to even tell him  I was leaving. (His reaction surprised me!) 

I am not sure what bonds us to another human being, but man..I really love meeting and knowing people the way I do.

 God did something real special when he gave me friends, family and clients.

Above, is my sister..one of the greatest relationships I have … She’s pretty darn special in my book! Life without her woukd be so different and possibly even more difficult!  

I haven’t seen my sister since April. A few years ago she came to live in my city. I hadn’t lived with her in the same city for about twenty years! Seeing her leave…. was grief of another kind. It’s was hard for several months.  Yet she came to fulfill a very hard time and space in my life. So glad she was here when she was. God’s timing was perfect.

I never thought about Gods timing in our relationships;  until she decided to be present in this way.What an entirely complete blessing from the Lord!

Love her.❤

So today I ask for grace, God.. grace to be benevolent in all my ways, and appreciate even the small things and the small ways that I bond with the people I work with and whom You intentionally send across my paths. Help me to trust Your perfect plan.

Thank you for  relationships.

Thanks for how they make us smile, feel special, help us feel appreciated and give us warmth, inside.

Thanks for those who love us, even when we feel unlovable.

Selah.

Here’s the appreciation I’ve learned in saying goodbye: it’s just as special as saying hello. (Smile.)

By the way… I’m joining the Give Me Grace Community over at Lisa Epperson’s blog! Join us!

My Sabbath Rest, Day .

I’ve taken to micro-blogging bfor the sake of a lack of time, and what you see here is the beginning of my offering to you as to how I partake of my personal rest. Self care used to be hard for me. I have a very busy job and some days I get going and don’t settle at all til the evenings…rather late… Yet this picture here helps me find that and remember it. I try my best to make Sundays a Sabbath. The last few Sundays I have been pretty  good with this goal. I’ve been successful in finding rest. Some try to often make us feel guilty for resting, but no..not I. Sabbath is a  place of resolve. And if I cannot find it at  all…in any given day, then something’s wrong. I don’t care who tries to make me feel guilty, I won’t accept it. Even my husband . (Well.. yeah….)

Want to test with me on Sundays?

My noted change has been: NO pre Monday morning dreading work because I feel rested and ready for the day Mon. Am. Check out my links I post, or my blog posts.. you’ll find rest….😄 Please read this blog by Shelly Miller it’s on time for learning about how to rest. http://redemptionsbeauty.com/sabbath-society/ .
 Keri Wyatt Kent is one of my favorite authors of books called: “rest.” Her blog is here:
http://www.keriwyattkent com is another good Sabbath blog.

 

Why not join me and rest?
Share every Sunday how you take time to relax in the weekend.
Thanks for reading. And sharing!

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How To Work “For Free”.

“Scripture: Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galations 6:2
Once upon a time… my first college internship at Howard University,  while working on my Masters at  John Hopkins Hospital. It was my  very first  challenging “crisis as a social worker and I was terrified. I had never felt so inadequate. I  felt as if I couldn’t  be what I needed to be – for my client in the field of social work, but I was excited and  thrilled to be working at John Hopkins, and  challenged myself anyway, do it… I knew I could … with God’s help.
It was my first  job in   the field and in a hospital setting;  and I was in Baltimore, Maryland. My first counseling job that seemed to be too hard to do without worry.
I  was counseling a thirteen year old  parent with twins and her parents. I recall her parents being so angry with her,  I felt as if they couldn’t see that this was such a humongous turning point in her life, it  and the entire situation would either make or break her, and she would from this point on life determine whether she could ask for help freely, from anyone,  decide whether she was loved by family or rejected; and determine whether or not she was worthy of being a good mother. I didn’t want them to judge has age as an major inconvenience, cause I knew God could use this too, for His Glory.
I wanted there, in that moment to  reach out to her desperately and help her soul. ( Her mind, will and emotions.) I could only imagine how bleak her future may have seemed,  based on her outlook a the age of 13.   I guess that’s essentially when I became a “true burden-bearer” at work. I cared so much about her  and had compassion for her situation,  Not knowing what to say to her, or do…I remember at that moment praying and asking God to help me be the best social worker I could ever be, for Him. It’s like at that very moment I decided to tabernacle with God, and make  my life‘s work an altar for him to come in and “alter” my own soul. I allowed my soul to be the place in which he could change me, develop me, shift my priorities, and right there I invited him into my work.  If my life  were to be a work of divine influence and transformation by working with people I wanted his light to shine through me as I helped His people.
As I searched for meaning with the word “alter”  by definition, I  found words like: ” transform,  shift, develop,  or change”.  This indeed was my charge: I had decided  long ago, I was called to do this work of working to change lives. The call to social work, was the type of field I was to influence and help wounded soldiers;  the type of work hat healed emotions and  soothed souls. This was my work. I  even saw I mirrored the life of Jesus:  He was the type of person that did the same, Jesus.  He was the best social worker there ever was, and he implemented His job with the greatest care and  the greatest compassion, and character there ever was.
I learned a humongous lesson, during my early years that lad the foundation for “free work”. Although I received a paycheck, I was living a calling and this work helped set others free. As I notice the  influence and trail I have left behind, I realize I  have been very blessed with a career full of  wonderful options and divine encounters with God through my work and I have learned  a few lessons along the way:
1. That  God’s work, was my work.
I learned early on, I couldn’t do work without God. He needs me, to complete the work, and I needed Him to give it to me. This began a  career of fully offering my life to God, through my work. I believe it has blessed me significantly to finally end up in a place of becoming an entrepreneur and fully loving what I do.
2. That I should never take  anyone for granted that crosses  my path. It may be an opportunity to work for God.
Believing that every opportunity and every  situation  i experience already was determined and sent ahead for me, comforts me. It leaves an imprint of peace upon my life; when I was  discouraged or uncertain about my career and  unable to  be guided clearly.
3. That Compassion that has an arm rest name is: Jesus.
Whenever I feel like I am vulnerable and cannot  figure out where I am going and what God would have me to do, I will  call on Him for help. I have not ceased to do this, and as I do, God manages to preserve me. I have a certain kind of strength need to help me through any challenge, any story and any  valley as it pertain to  my career.
Freedom in your work involves an offering. A Sacrifice. Making a sacrifice for what is really something good and had lots of potential.  And determining that goodness really is… must be in the center of what your work involves.  It as a wonderful grace  flow when you allow God  to  be in the center of it, continually. God is  simply always looking for a sacrifice.  and if we make that altar  or “alter ” our lives, then we have an amazing chance to live it for His glory.
Questions for reflection:
1 .Has God ever prompted you to give more  on your job and turn it over to Him?
2. If you struggle with this decision, have you given that exact challenge unto God before addressing it?
3. Abraham had to sacrifice his own will and his good pleasure, His son –  at a time when he just seemed to  fall apart with the idea of what did not make any sense at all. Is there something in your life that does  not make sense, yet you  determine  in your heart to follow through, because the work and impact for Him,  may be just be that much greater?
Here’s a prayer to center you:
“Father, we  humbly submit our wills to you, as we struggle with  the notion that  we may not know the full essence of what you are offering us when you say, “Feed My Sheep.” If we mumble or complain a bit too loudly,  please forgive us and help us to  surrender all the more.  Help us to realize how we are called to transform, shift, develop,  or change.”
That day I walked into John Hopkins , I didn’t expect a teenager to change my life and my desire and passion for God, but she did.
What aspect of our work are we taking for granted?

I AM ENOUGH BECAUSE I AM AWARE.

I decided to write a new series. I was in a  Celebrate Recovery group and  talking about feeling “helpless”. It was a process for me to discuss in group, because as soon as I  spoke about why I tend to feel worried and  procrastinate on some things, I realized that  This vulnerable space I often feel between  not worrying and trusting God  causes me to  feel way too vulnerable.

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I Am Enough Because I Am Aware. 

Aware of what? You may ask. I am aware of my surroundings, the people I love and even the people I am not all that crazy about. I am aware of where I am going, and often where I am I am aware of the mistakes I have made, and the ones that  I almost made. I am  aware.
Awareness is about being tuned in. I am tuned in when I listen, I hear what my soul is saying: My mind will and emotions, and I am  listening to what is right for me.
  1.  What is right, or isn’t right… in my relationships?
  2.  What is right, or isn’t right for me in regard to my emotions?
  3.  What is right or isn’t right, for me  in terms of how I operate in this world?
  4.  Who am I influencing and am I A RESOURCE  for/to someone else?
  5. 5. Am i taking a god, honest look and reflection of how I present myself in this world?
Am I responsive to others in my circle? Do I have a protective circle of adults, friends and  teachers/mentors who  reach out to me, assist me in decision-making and share their lives with me on some level? Who are these people who help me to stay aware?
( You fill them in: ) 
  1. My Mentors:
  2. My Family Members:
  3. My Friends:
  4. My (Adult) Teachers:
  5. My (Adult)Leaders:
Please note the names and reasons why these persons are significant in your life, today. How do they aid in helping your progress, grow and  become your best self?
 
As a  young woman who is tuned in and AWARE :
 
I am productive. I tell you , this one took a while.  I  found it hard to stay productive. Something was always in the way of my growth and progress for a while. Then  I had to take ownership and make personal goals about where i wanted to end up.  I actually take the time to read daily the blogs of persons that inspire my passions of photography, and of  writing.  It has definitely made me more creative. Yes,I study my craft. The things I am in good in.  Communicating,  Perceiving, Writing, and Observing. (And those are just a few.)  I wasn’t even aware I was really doing this, until I had a really major epiphany /downfall  in about 1997. It was more emotional  and spiritual than it was mental. Well, I take that back, it was actually very mental.  I  was  devastated, and I realized how unimportant TV is, to making me a whole person. A person who is well-loved,  complete, and  considerate of others’ and their personal growth. Because my life had fallen apart, I wanted to help other pick backup the pieces. And so I committed myself to that goal.
 
I am mature.  I don’t waste time  on tings that are petty and  issues that don’t matter. I spend time alert to how I can grow to be a better person and thrive in the skin I am in. I  work my strengths. I challenge myself to do new projects or learn new  skills that help perfect my  work, my calling and my purpose.
 
I  am positive.  I am  one who tends to notice people, point out what is of interest to me, and I compliment what I see. If I see value in them, I note it. I mention it I even add perspective, if they will allow me to, to  what I see. I am embrace it, in someone around me, and I ask them how I can implement the same. When negative energy surrounds me, I choose to remove myself from it, because I am clear it will not help me to continue to grow and evolve, and RISE. I know myself. I am willing to share myself with others, as they treat me with the respect I deserve, and I am familiar with people  who have like-passion and purpose.
 
I am acquainted – with myself and others.
Why is it important to  be familiar  with persons of similar passions, they enhance and direct me  closer to my goals and my purpose in life? Because it’s energizing! I have so much fun being connected to people who  actually love some of the things I love! And we join together for a common purpose, and common goals! It feel absolutely synergistic! Some of the most influential moments in my life have been in the presence of leaders  and deep thinkers who   move me of out complacency and encourage me to be a better person and become more self-actualized.
 
I am alert. I am careful about my relationships and I am careful about who I surround myself with as resource. Relationships can be the most  helpful or the most hurtful aspects of your life that  either help you  to soar, or cause you to become quite defeated. I have learned from enough hurtful relationships, that it’s not worth my time, nor my energy.  Bottom line: Why invest  and waste time in something that doesn’t help me to be better? I have become so much better as a person because of people who were attentive, involved and noticed my strengths and help me build them. Those who helped me to become, and   and invested in me.
 
I am appreciative.  I am aware of when I need to be grateful and practice gracious living. I used to always pray for humility. I believe I used to know that being the babe in the family made me less aware and less conscious of the need to be aware, because everyone took care of me and things for me. I know , that I was a very  hard time in my life, right? (I’m being sarcastic). I was really blessed to have people care for me in ways completely undeserved, but I also know that I have to begin to get over myself. Being so important at a young age, made me take things also for granted, and I needed to grow up. So I had to  learn to be grateful, and  it took a while to learn that. I  began to use prayer as a vehicle to help me.
When I am UNAWARE, I neglect myself. I  tend to do things tat dont help me to grow, nor thrive I tend to not care about anyone, even myself. When I am neglectful, I am  talking too much, and not very silent. I am talking even about people, and I don’t do that much at all I only do it when I don’t want to focus on myself. I am full of myself , when I am  neglectful.  I  tend to not  be very thankful either, when I am full of self.
 
Have you ever been full of yourself?  No, it’s not just being conceited, either, I tell you… it’s being like a glutton. Wanting something so bad you’d do anything to get it. And  that’s quite honestly, being out of control. I don’t like that feeling Being out of control. It makes you feel small, and insignificant. It makes you feel like you are not very important and I don’t think people like you much, wither when you lack self control. With every  act of  pride, a lack of self control comes  soon after.
What self neglect can look like for me:
 
when I am UNAWARE, I don’t take CARE OF ME.
– Not eating healthy – (eating too much junk food)
– Not resting well – (staying up all hours of the night)
– Not spending time with people who appreciate me, or my time. (being with inconsiderate persons)

When I am UNAWARE, I am Negative. 

Just Breathe.

by JennRene

Sometimes in life we tend to get lost in the sauce.. we miss the whole point about why we were given “the breath of life” and why we have it, and how important it is to BREATHE…deeply.

beach playPrime example: Today, I went to a seminar today on bonding and attachment and found myself taking in all the benefits of breathing deeply. I entered the  relaxation and self care session feeling absolutely tired, praying for God to redeem me from the last three hours of the day… and complaining that I hardly had energy left.

Within a few moments… maybe three – (of a really neat deep breathing exercise… ) Oh how energized I was! I couldn’t believe a simple exercise of breathing in and out helped clam me so! Another exercise pointed out how by just being connected and bonded to another human being by a simple touch- sitting back to back or having their hand on my shoulders..simply being connected – caused me to leave the session revived in my spirit.

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Taking time to breathe connects us to ourselves and to others. It helps us to notice what we don’t normally notice… it helps us to be encouraged find release, and be re-energized. Forgetting to breathe deeply can cause us to experience less calm, insecurity, less energy, less peace, less warmth. Why rob yourself of the deepest experiences life gives? Of Connection…(Both to yourself, and unto others?

So, have you ever wondered: Why did God give you breath?  Perhaps God gave us breath to help us breathe life into someone else. Are you wasting  the breath God gave you,… or are you renewing it?There’s a  singer Fred Hammond has a song that asks :‘Breathe Unto Me’ – so that His soul can be made right and his spirit whole. If everyone only knew what God’s breathe within them does to bring them life.. they might take time to do it more often. After the exercises today and a few deep breaths in noticing how my life rhythm was impacted and had been interrupted, I realized I needed to do better work at caring for myself. I realized I had not been tending to and asking for my language of love – TOUCH to be nurtured.

(Contrary to one’s thought life…)

It doesn’t have to be another person you love who meets that need nor does it have to be sex. It can be a back massage, a pedicure, a hand massage.) But touch is only one language of love: Acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time.. are a few more…How are you getting your Languages of Love met? Are they being ignored? Replaced with pretentiousness? Neglected?

I ignored those needs for almost ten years of my life and refused to be calmed or comforted to the point I wasn’t even aware was my language of love!  I almost died inside. Don’t let this happen to you. If you are living in isolation, are lonely or neglecting your need to breathe experience touch – then you are not getting the fullness you need out of life to be soothed, bonded and comforted in love.

Make sure you find someone to help  breathe LIFE into your life – or find an activity that makes you smile, energized, makes you feel more special than you ever have. If you aren’t attracting these kind of people into your life, ask God to send them. He will. He wants the breath of life IN YOU to be REVIVED. He wants someone to bring HIS LIFE to life in you. God gave you the power to breathe… USE IT to bless someone else’s life, USE it to bless YOUR life. To honor someone in the SPACE of your being and doing. But DO stop, today and just notice: are you breathing deeply?

Just let God be God. Breathe, Feel. Trust. Be lifted.

Recognize and deeply take in the power to notice God’s calm and rhythm within .

Are YOU Striving?

To Strive means: to exert oneself vigorously; try hard.

I once knew someone who wanted  SO MUCH. but she wasn’t doing much in order to achieve it  had a conversation with her about effort.  And it was a long one.

I told her i used to be just like her. Thinking I would achieve something without putting in the hard work.

(I  am  just warning you.. this post wont make you very happy….)

Here are five reasons why we don’t put IN the HARD WORK:

  1. We are afraid.
  2.  We  feel sorry for ourselves and use self-pity as a  guard.
  3.  We complain or BLAME someone else.
  4.  We  really don’t want it that bad . We are COMPLACENT.
  5.  We  feel like  someone owes us , and we dont move until we  feel we get what we deserve.

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What was the latest success you had in striving?
Was it for exercise or dd you feel impassioned?
Was it for an exam you know you had to pass?
Was it for a relationship that was giving back 100% … OR were they only giving 15 and YOU did the rest?
Have you ever thought about nature  and how it strives to come to birth?
How the earth strives when earthquakes happen… or the wind  works to clear out  debri – and the earth shifts and the mighty winds take form to form tornadic winds?
Just as the earth groans and has growing pains, so also does our lives.
Our lives can be just as tumultuous at times, yet we still have to find a place to rest in peace.

Other meaningful definitions of striving are: to make strenuous efforts toward any goal: to strive for success; to contend in opposition, battle, or any  with conflict; to compete; to struggle vigorously, as in opposition or resistance: to strive against fate;. to rival; ( oh that word sounds familiar!) to vie.

Be BOLD.

Get ahold!
Striving helps bring about life cultivation:

Oneness of mind and spirit. Striving helps to build communities.

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Contemplations On Relating: Owning Your Value & Your Worth.

 

I am what one may say —- a relationship expert.  Of that,  take great pride.  But I haven’t always been here… yea…proud.

I am not perfect, and I  don’t know a whole lot about what a relationship takes to make it work, but I really can appreciate a good one. I know when I have a good one.  Bad relationships are like a crack in the glass. (And since I have one  on my windshield, currently, I thought it might be best share what that’s been like. ) It’s expensive. Costly.  And it gets in the way of your vision your hopes for the future. After a while, you tend t ignore it, but t still has the capacity to cloud your vision. And sometimes our relationships are like that, cause we settle for LESS. A bad relationship can weigh you down and keep you from purposing your life in the right direction.

However, I am one who cares immensely about how  women ( & men…)  are treated in relationships, and I HATE domestic violence for  HUGE reasons. I decided a long time ago, that  placing myself  as a priority, is  MOST important. I once counseled a woman in  Syracuse, NY, who only took about five weeks to fully  determine she didn’t want to be in the relationship and  it was pretty awesome to see her walk away only after a sort time of self-evaluation. I believe anyway can walk away from a relationship if they do the proper self-evaluation and take the time to do the self work,  because it makes them decide to fly. Yet why does it take time to  wake up and realize our worth, and our value and  how do we become so stuck in this place?

 I hope to explore that in  the next few blog posts.

One of the biggest  problems women suffer with  in relationships, is  self-doubt. Women often second guess their intuition.

I know, because  I did this for years. And that was VERY costly,too.

Then one day I decided I would begin to purposely take the time to do  some quiet and meditate, self-evaluate and  do a personal self-study of what it  took to be  honest with myself about my self-confidence.  (Man, was it worth it! ) Along the way I found a really  good book, by Brene Brown. Her speeches on  vulnerability are the best.   (Brene’ Brown vulnerability   (You should check her out.)  She take a  good look at the influence of shame and our inner dialogue that happens with  our own personal self-confidence. It’s crucial to getting past the lies we tell ourselves. Reading her book :The Gifts of Imperfection: Letting Go Of Who You’re Supposed to Be and  Embracing Who  You Are” , was freeing.

If women  doubt themselves they begin to eventually doubt every action, and it causes them to  not make even ONE decision at all, that can help them. If she doesn’t make a decision at all, she forever remains confused, disillusioned, and  stagnant.

Don’t allow a sour or broken and misguided relationship keep your from achieving your goals Life is too short already! Why limit it even more with excess baggage? Make a conscious choice today to  be intentional about  your destiny, your future,  and OWN your confidence.

OWN IT… and DO THE WORK!

 

 

 

nn

 

Buzzwords & Beliefs Part 4

My girlfriend Kristi wrote about values and strongly believe we all thrive when we FOLLOW THEM!!!

Ball of Light

jennifer at beach scarf in air Jennifer Owens, self-care coach

Four weeks ago, we began creating an intentional life. Intentionality is when we live in alignment with our core values. This alignment might help us reach goals, but only because it unsticks our gears so we can enjoy the ride. Life becomes more than goals and tasks. It becomes an expression of what we hold dear.

First, we explored our values to identify the ones that, when lived, make us feel true to ourselves. If you’re like me, you’ve refined your original value statements somewhat. Individually, we’ll continue to refine and even switch them out as we grow and our priorities shift.

Next, we challenged the beliefs that limit us or hold us back. We used our own power to determine why we behaved contrary to our values. We questioned the assumptions that were grabbing the wheel. We challenged the logic of our limiting beliefs and…

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The Older I Get, The Younger I Become.

The older I get…. The younger I feel. I truly am thankful for care of a thriving spirit! 

How do you know when you’re thriving!?

I mean, is there some magical element that helps you notice that you are or it is learned and valued with time and experience??

I say the latter. Time and experience has taught me how to thrive and place myself first. People who are very wise and mature in this space in life, have as well. I’ve also learned how to value life lessons and how they teach me perspective faith and facing and remaining in truths in my life. I tend to approach life as a series of  lessons that bloom with perspective and self – reflection over time.

Well .. I want to share with you : I found a wonderful series on thriving with Karen at Chookoloonks.com and I’d like you to take look and see if you notice yourself therein.

For me, thriving is when you notice that you are moving forward even when you don’t plan to. You grow with a valid experience and a sense of maturity helps you to glean from the experience you’ve endured. It’s when  you have a vigorous way of having  forward moment  in your life and you’re not even realizing your gaining momentum; but looking back, you’ve realized you’ve seized the moment!

Choose to thrive today!

Here are a few things that help me thrive:

  1. Friends  with similar goals and vision.
  2. A partner in my corner that encourages me.
  3. Daily meditation on my personal growth, goals or spiritual power.
  4. My family and their insights and communication with them. Family add purpose to our lives when we can relish those relationships. 
  5. Readings or listening to podcasts to endurance my passions.
  6. Writing my vision down and visiting it weekly to determine where I want to go with it.
  7. Sharing my hope and my reason for living strong.
  8. Helping and giving back to others.
  9. Loving on myself.
  10. Listening to myself.
  11. My relationship with God.

Want to learn more about thriving?  Join my page at the following link, here .